If you're a Colbert Report viewer, you may have seen his ThreatDown segment featuring Questzalcoatl, Santa Claus, and most importantly, Canadian Groin Kickers.
Click here if you missed it.
Inspired and frightened by the Langley, B.C. woman who has been inexplicably going around town kicking strange men in the groin, Stephen expressed serious concern about making the trip to Vancouver in support of his beloved U.S. Speed Skating team.
We here at The Comedy Network (Canadian P.M.'s of the Colbert Nation) deeply care about Stephen's Balls. We love Stephen's Balls. We want his balls in our Country. We would be devastated if anything were to happen to those big, round, iconic symobls of truthiness and freedom.
Thus, we have created the Maple Member Minder to ensure his safety.
Here is the letter we have sent to Colbert Nation headquarters:
Of course, we had to test it out before sending. Here is TCN's Candie Canuck successfully avoiding testicular torment at the hands of Innerspace host Natasha Eloi.
Next, we hit the road with the Maple Member Minder and some delicous maple syrup. For sucking, natch.
Did some sightseeing.
And we couldn't resist taking a dig at the U.S. Health Care system.
Success all around. We returned to TCN home base, packaged it up, and sent it off!
So, Canada. Do you want Stephen's balls to make it to Canada in one piece?
Let him know via:
- Twitter
- Email
- Colbert Nation Fourms
Come on Canada. YES WE CAN!
