You‘d think because his mother appeared on the cover of CrackWhore Magazine, Eric would be a rather disturbed little boy. But not so! Sure, he‘s selfish, hot-tempered, and swears like a sailor, but that‘s only because he‘s insecure about being the fattest kid in school. And what third-grader doesn‘t need to blow off a little steam by screaming racial slurs now and again? The important thing is, when times have been tough for the boys (such as when Barbra Streisand tried to take over the world), Eric‘s been there to make matters worse.
It is fortunate that Kenny is forever hidden within the hood of his orange parka, because he smells bad. Poor people do. Yes, the outfit makes it difficult to understand what he‘s saying, but who cares? He‘s poor. His family is poor, and they live on the poor side of town. Poor, poor, poor. That‘s why Kenny dies each week. He deserves it for being poor.
Along with being Stan‘s best friend and one of the only Jews in South Park, Kyle is the smartest of the four boys. This often makes him the lone voice of reason against Cartman‘s many schemes. It hasn‘t, however, prevented him from joining the suicide cult of magician David Blaine, or questioning the existence of God while being the only fourth grader suffering from acute hemorrhoids. Kyle always succeeds in learning from his mistakes.
Stan is your average, happy go-lucky kid, which is just enough to make him the leader of our gang of four. Whether it‘s something as noble as leading his friends on a mission to return a goat to Afghanistan, or as simple as breaking into a secret military base to recover his Okama Gamesphere, Stan almost always tries to do the right thing. Because that‘s what Brian Boitano would do.