Did Conan and Colbert spend the Fourth of July setting off illegal fireworks together? Either way, they basically made the same joke.

Samantha Bee wasn’t feeling the day-old patriotism on July 5th. She’s Canadian, after all.

Before Independence Day even happened, comedian Cristela Alonzo declared that she would not be celebrating with a game of beer pong. To learn more about Alonzo’s drinking style, tune in to her stand-up special for The Half Hour.

Speaking of important days for America, Drunk History premieres tonight at 10:00pm, and will feature inebriated, semi-accurate accounts of major moments from the country’s past. Before his guest appearance on the season premiere, Bob Odenkirk checked out another historically dubious drama.

Cabaret singer/comedian Bridget Everett capped off the season finale of Inside Amy Schumer with a raunchy rendition of her original song “Titties.” Over Twitter, she outlined her very particular taste in men.

Jessi Klein is a writer for both Inside Amy Schumer and Kroll Show. She’s not into white lies.

And The Daily Show’s Kristen Schaal outlined her Star Wars-based beauty situation.