Every night @midnight, one comedian is named Funniest Person in the World for the Next Twenty-Three and a Half Hours. Or for the weekend, if it’s Thursday’s show.

Here’s who reigned this week:
 
Monday’s winner: Ralph Garman
Runner up: Kevin Smith
Total loser: Jason Mewes
The final test: Write a Yelp review for the ice cream van in this viral YouTube video, from the perspective of the second child who falls down.
Garman's winning review: "I crawled after him with my broken legs, but the ice cream man refused to slow down. I saw him laughing in the rearview mirror. No Stars!"
Full episode: right here.
 
Tuesday’s winner: Dominic Monaghan
Runner up: Howard Kremer
Total loser: Kulap Vilaysack
The final test: Give a WebMD diagnosis for the unfortunate condition suffered by the model in this Target ad for a juniors' "midkini"—a true sin by both Photoshop and feminist standards.
Monaghan’s winning diagnosis: "T**tris Disease – When your vagina is a rectangular void."
Full episode: right here.

Wednesday’s winner: Matt Mira
Runner up: Wil Wheaton
Total loser: Jonah Ray
The final test: Respond to this Craigslist ad for a human piñata as someone interested in being swung up in a tree and beaten by a bunch of 5-year-olds.
Mira's winning response: "I am very, very interested. However legally I will have to be suspended at least 300 yards above the children. Sincerely, the guy from the Stairway to Stardom game"
Full episode: right here.

Thursday’s winner: Nikki Glaser
Runner up: Steve Agee
Total loser: Kyle Kinane
The final test: Inspired by this figurine of Saint Vivian, which purports to cure hangovers, contestants were asked to write a blessing to a drunk person in the voice of Saint Vivian herself.
Glaser's winning blessing: "May God give you the strength to find your phone, and the courage to explain to your landlord why you texted him, 'I'm wet' at 4am"
Full episode: right here.