*To be read in aggressive wrestler’s voice*
We didn’t think we’d ever see that little punk Jon Stewart again after he RIPPED our hearts out of our chests by quittin’ The Daily Show.  We thought he didn’t have the GUTS to return to our TVs but apparently that little New Jersey devil will show his face at the Barclays Center in Brooklyn to host SummerSlam on Sunday night.
We got news for you, brother, and the headline reads “Stop Teasin’ Us Man” because we don’t know if we can emotionally handle seeing you host another show only to disappear into thin air again. That’s not how a true champion goes through life, dude.
As you walk through the bowels of the Barclays Center, keep your head up Jon Stewart because after your little stunt on RAW last March, you’ve made plenty of enemies. Play your cards right on Sunday, Stewart, because if you start messin’ around like you did for SIXTEEN YEARS while sittin’ on your pretty little chair in Manhattan, you might find out what it’s like out here in the REAL WORLD!!
*Drops mic, flexes muscles, shoves interview, leaves*

*Back to normal voice*
In case you can’t understand the wrestling dialect, USA Today broke the news last night that Jon Stewart will host WWE’s annual SummerSlam pay-per-view event live from Brooklyn on Sunday. Jon’s always been a big wrestling fan so this shouldn’t come as a huge surprise, but we figured he would’ve held out for Wrestlemania.