We’re pretty sure it’s the first day of autumn, which signals the deaths of summer, sunshine and our general well-being. Don’t just sit there and wonder where you’re going to find a satin-covered catcher’s mask for your sexy umpire costume, get out there and enjoy it! Here are eight suggestions for what to do:

Burn all your tank tops

With subfreezing weather on its way you’re going to need all the sleeves you can find. Start a burning pile in your neighbourhood and watch those summer memories burn!

Kill some leaves

Most leaves are still alive but they have begun their annual slow death. Rather than gawking at their beautiful death colours as they painfully wilt, put them out their misery by giving them a proper soldier’s death.

Change your computer’s wallpaper to an image of death

Your current wallpaper is probably you doing flips into a lake, which won’t help you, mentally, once autumn begins to chip away at your soul. Leave a constant reminder of the fragility of life and the power of the seasons with a snazzy new desktop.


Go to a school yard and laugh at kids

The first day of fall is the real beginning of the school year because the first couple of weeks are spent learning names and stenciling names on things. Head out to your local elementary school and wait for recess where you’ll have the chance laugh at kids frowning and struggling to zip up fresh, unfamiliar jackets.
Set up an altar to honour Ra the sun god and provide
honey and spices as an offering of peace
You didn’t set up an altar last year, did you? Or the year before? How cold was it? EXACTLY. Try to encourage a warm fall and winter this time around by doing everything you can to suck up to the Lord of the Sun. Praise Ra!


Enjoy the first gourds of the season

Gourds are rich in vitamins but they’re a little tough to eat so be sure to tenderize them by braising them in a rich lamb neck broth for at least two days before consuming.


Pumkin spice your gourd broth

Once your gourds are cooked and eaten you’ll be left with a savory broth that’s perfectly good to eat or splash on your driveway to scare off skunks. For a special fall treat, sweeten the pot with a dash of pumpkin spice that’ll start your day off right.


Soak your favrouite scarf in gourd broth

Scarves are out in full force and while they make a great fashion accessory and weapon against the cold, they can also be used as sponges for on-the-go dining. Soak one of your faves in your gourd broth and slurp away for the ultimate autumn treat!