Now that autumn has us in its icy, dead hands, it’s time for us to fight back by cooking up large vats of robust stews and inhaling as many pumpkin spiced things as possible. But be warned—the pumpkin spice revolution is not all warm hugs, beautiful scarves and smiling babies who shouldn’t be drinking coffee. Be sure to moderate your intake of autumn treats for you might find yourself addicted by the time Papa Santa squiggles his giant ass down your chimney. Seek help immediately if you or someone you know displays the following symptoms:
- They turn orange
- They ask strangers on the street if they got any extra nutmeg
- They take a week off work to tour local pumpkin patches and spice caves
- They can relate to the following video
Yes, even The Best F*&#Ing News Team Ever is susceptible to the allure of pumpkin spice. Rather than support Trevor in a thought-provoking piece on Syria during last night’s show, the correspondents were distracted by that sweet combination of seasonal gourd and warm baking spices, creating a taste sensation rivaled only by spring’s limited lamb herb milkshakes. Just thinking about a warm latte slowly trickling into my body is making me shiver with… ah damn, I need help. I know what I need
a pumpkin spiced chewable lozenge should do the trick. Anyway, check out the vid!