In male model years, a decade and a half is practically a century—and that is exactly how long it feels like we’ve been waiting for a Zoolander sequel (or dreading a Zoolander sequel, depending on how you feel about Zoolander specifically and sequels in general). Today the anticipation/trepidation ends as Zoolander 2 hits theatres and the only male model you know by name returns to the catwalk.
Both within the context of the movie and outside of it, Derek Zoolander is not so hot right now.
Ben Stiller’s character has quit modelling after the tragic death of his intellectually superior wife and lost custody of his son for not knowing how to make spaghetti soft. Ben Stiller’s movie (he directed the sequel) is a lot like that dry spaghetti: the potential is there, but a key ingredient is missing. (It’s water, Derek.)
That said, fans of the first movie will still want to catch the follow up. Packed with self-referential jokes, the expected jabs at male model IQs, and more celebrity cameos than This Is The End (look for everyone from Kiefer Sutherland to Ariana Grande to Neil Degrasse Tyson), seeing Zoolander 2 is a lot more fun than sipping orange mocha frappucinos while listening to Wham! (then again, the intermingling of chocolate and fruit and George Michael is a total abomination). Here are five reasons to check it out:

1. A bullet-ridden Bieber

Zoolander 2 is the only movie that has the one thing everyone wants to see: Justin Bieber being taken out by a motorcycle-riding assassin (and posting a selfie before he dies). Fun fact: you know how we’ve been calling that ubiquitous selfie expression “duck face”? It’s really Aqua Vitae face—a look Derek trademarked a decade before the advent of Instagram. 

2. The way Kristen Wiig destroys the English language

‘Amazing’, ‘fashion’, and ‘youth milk’ become ‘amousing’, ‘fassi-yon’, and ‘yowth malk’ when uttered by an unrecognizable Wiig playing fashion world power player Alexanya Atoz, a not-so-subtle send-up of Donatella Versace.

3. Mugatu’s skin suit

If anyone could pull off a tear-away tattooed skin suit, it’d be Jacobim Mugatu.

4. The warning against driving under the influence (of your own extreme vanity)

Like its predecessor, Zoolander 2 features more vehicular peril (set to the same tune, even) but instead of a gasoline fight, it’s a distracted drive through Rome with a selfie stick in hand.

5. An eyebrow-less Benedict Cumberbatch

And you thought he was terrifying in Star Trek.
Zoolander 2 is out today. Watch the trailer right here: