The best films on the planet (according to successful, mostly white baby boomers) will be lauded this Sunday night during the 88th Academy Awards!
While the rest of the world has changed quite a bit over the past 88 years, Oscar has mostly remained his bald, gold-plated self. We’re all for tradition but it would be nice to spruce things up a bit by maybe holding the ceremony in a water park, or AT LEAST adding some innovative new categories.

Since the Academy is so busy watching movies and going out for expensive lunches, we did the work for them and have brainstormed six new categories we’d like to see implemented IMMEDIATELY.
*Possible Spoilers Ahead*

Best Non-Superhero Post-Credits Sequence
It’s pretty much a given that a superhero movie will include a brief, post-credits scene meant to tease a sequel and make those who walked out early feel like stupid idiots, but they’re less common in conventional tales. The rare ones that do include a post-credit sequence deserve recognition, and if this category were active this year, the winner would no doubt be…
The Hateful Eight
This post-credits sequence features its cast of dead characters waking up in Heaven, which in this case is a beach at an undisclosed tropical location. Everyone looks at each other, they shrug, and then Sam Jackson’s Major Marquis Warren goes, “Well, let’s fuckin’ party”.

Best Oscar Isaac Movie
Oscar Isaac was in 85% of movies in 2015 so it totally makes sense to give him a category all his own. Plus, it'd be a lot of fun to hear presenters say, "And the Oscar for Best Oscar goes to..."


Best Song From A Movie Trailer
Trailers are important in establishing a film’s tone, and necessary to build hype into what will hopefully be a successful theatrical run. But a trailer is only as good as the song within it, so we’d like to honour tracks that get us hungry for more.
Who should win this year? Would it be AC/DC’s hard rockin’ ‘What Do You Do for Money Honey’ used in Masterminds? The AC/DC classic, ‘Highway to Hell’ from that memorable preview of Daddy’s Home? Or would AC/DC take home the trophy for ‘Back in Black’, which added huge excitement to the trailer for Kung Fu Panda 3?


Best Sports Movie Where The Underdog Doesn’t Even Win
A good sports movie takes a loser, or bunch of losers, miraculously turns them into winners, and then gives them a final challenge that teaches everyone a lesson about something other than sports. The only question is will the films underdog(s) actually win the final challenge or lose while learning that winning isn’t everything?
Since it makes way more sense for born losers to do what they do best and lose--especially in the face of insurmountable odds--we’d like to celebrate sports films that end on a sour note.
This year’s winner would definitely be Creed because that lame movie McFarland doesn’t qualify thanks to its underdogs winning, which we had to look up because we didn’t see it. 

Best Film With A Misleading Title
Room is about a Room, The Martian is about aliens, Steve Jobs is about a guy named Steve Jobs—what’s the point of watching a movie if the whole thing is laid out in its title? We prefer movie titles that mess with expectations and keep us guessing. Our top choices for 2015 would be…
Bridge of Spies
Turns out the bridge in question is made of concrete, which was a big shocker to those of us expecting to see a gruesome structure constructed out of the corpses of fallen spies.
The Danish Girl
To our surprise this film isn’t about a baker who turns out killer Danishes, it’s about someone from a place called Denmark--weird!


Best Oscar Category
It’s about time Oscar categories got some love because without them the Academy Awards don't even exist. Our dream list of nominees for 2015 are…
Best Picture
Best Actress
Best Actor
Best Director
Best Short Subject, One-reel

Catch the 88th Academy Awards this Sunday on CTV and then flick over to Comedy for Jimmy Kimmel Live’s After Oscars special!