A long weekend that starts with Canada Day and ends with America Day can only mean two things: Flag company fat cats celebrating another successful year by lighting their cigars with the flags of lesser nations, and bedroom closets stuffed to the gills with unused fireworks. There are only so many ‘gun-powdered pepperonis’ you can ignite before the kids start throwing up and your neighbour complains that the noise is interrupting their Urban Peasant marathon, so don’t feel embarrassed if you didn’t find time to blow up the whole pile.
The hard part is figuring out what to do with all your extras due to a federal law that deems any firework in close proximity to trash an unlawful celebration of garbage. We did some research and have come up with several ways you can get rid of your old fireworks in a fun and safe manner.

Raise them as your own


Wrap them in snakes, sell to a teenager

Smoke them after a long day at work, man

Put them in a time capsule with a note that says “PARTY ON”

Serve them on a bun for supper


Hook them up with your friend


Get them autographed by your favourite celebrity


Garnish your Caesar with them