For eons we’ve relied on the humble groundhog to rid our bogs of grubs, and to annually predict a short period of weather from February 2 up until whenever spring decides it's ready to burst forth from God's ears.

Today, Canada’s famous Wiarton Willie emerged from his slimey nest to whisper into some guy’s ear how many more weeks of grey dread we can expect to suffer through in 2017. Always ones to jump on rodent-related news, The Beaverton has the scoop on today’s hog to human exchange, and rather than the usual “more winter” or “less winter”, Willie offered up a somewhat more ominous prediction. Miguel Rivas reports:




How are you going to spend your remaining nine springs? Will another creature such as the sinister snake step up in place of the groundhog to offer us hope or despair come 2018? These are definitely questions worth pondering as humanity inches ever closer to total destruction. And if you get bored while trying to figure out answers, you might as well tune into The Beaverton Wednesdays at 10ep, only on Comedy.